God’s Love and Grace; Their Weight and Value

            God commands blessings. Blessings are given as God’s grace, not as a payment for something. Those who understand the value of the grace God has given love Him, and do not hold back in serving and dedicating for the works which are for the glory of God’s kingdom. God does not forget such saints but remembers them and adds spiritual blessings to them; even in the face of unbearable adversities, He takes care of them to ultimately have victory and glory. And in order to surely accomplish this, He works from within them.

            Many believers themselves believe that they love God and also profess that with their lips. Surprisingly however, not every one of them is able to confidently confess to God, “I love you.” They are cut to the heart and feel guilty that most of them are not bold enough to say that. This is because they lack in their love for God, that is, their faith. They love their flesh more than God, and their first priority is their flesh not God. If such life continues on, the blessings they are to receive will be limited. What is worse is that they will have huge regrets upon entering Heaven later, to discover that what they had built while on the earth because they loved the Lord, their hard work was actually done very poorly.

            We need to deeply and achingly understand in our hearts the weight and value of God’s love and grace given. Then, God will grant us faith and we would be able to overcome all kinds of temptations and obstacles in the world and be faithful to the Lord’s church. Only in this way could we stand strong as those who truly possess God’s blessings.

On Reaching Gethsemane…

             It was 2000 years ago from now. Jesus went to the Mount of Olives with His disciples and arrived at Gethsemane. It was the day before His death, when His life of 33 years was coming to a close, and only a few hours before He was captured. The Lord said, “Sit here while I go and pray over there” (Matt 26:36) and most of the disciples were left at the entrance to the hill, while He took Peter, James and John inside.

            The Lord was sorrowful and distressed (Matt 26:37). He had great sorrow throughout the three years of His public ministry on the earth. When He saw the sinners and the sick, He simply could not pass them by but helped them and shed many tears for them. Furthermore, He had compassion for the state of the people as they did not know God’s will and could not escape the curse; He was extremely grieved that even their leaders were in the same state of condition. Yet, He had never anguished in such intense sorrow as at Gethsemane. Gethsemane is a place that remembers the intensity of His agony; it is a witness to the climax of His sorrow. Though Jesus is the Son of God, He had to carry upon His weak body all that was ahead of Him, since He had come to the world as a man.

            The Lord had continuously performed many miracles and signs; however, from that day on He no longer performed power. His final miracle had already been done. It was the third day just as He said, “Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected” (Luke 13:32). He was going to be captured very soon. It was such a severe ordeal and an overwhelming task.

            Two days before, Jesus had urged His disciples saying, ‘the last day is coming. Use your talents well until then’ (Matt 25:14-30). He also said, ‘when the Son of Man comes in His glory with His angels, He will separate the faithful ones from those that are not’. He then added, ‘There will come a time when I will be hungry, thirsty, a stranger, naked, sick and imprisoned. I will need you then’ (Matt 25:31-46). Then He suddenly said, “You know that after two days is the Passover, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified” (Matt 26:2).

            There was a time when Jesus had requested somebody’s donkey and ridden it as He entered Jerusalem. The Lord also used the offerings He received from the people. And this time, the Lord requested the Passover meal to be prepared in the home of someone residing inside the city. The Lord spent His last night there with His disciples. The Lord took the bread, gave thanks, and broke it and gave it to His disciples saying, “Take, eat; this is My body.” He took the cup, gave thanks and gave it to His disciples saying, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say to you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s kingdom.” The Lord finished the Last Supper with His disciples, sang a hymn and went to the Mount of Olives (Matt 26:26-30).

I Will Not Deny You

            The Lord revealed that a critical situation was about to take place that night. The Lord said, “All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night, for it is written:

‘I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered,’” but Peter replied, “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble” (Matt 26:33). The Lord responded, “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.” Peter asserted, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” and so did all the disciples (Matt 26:31-35).

            There was a similar situation before when Jesus was teaching the people. He was speaking about the kingdom of Heaven but the people misunderstood it as if Heaven was going to appear right away, and so the Lord quickly changed to speaking in parables (Luke 19:11). And in a way, a similar situation was happening again this time. The disciples were unaware of how the matter surrounding the Lord was overwhelmingly and rapidly developing. Only one person was different. Judas who was quick to discern, considered the severe persecution from the Jews and judged that the work Jesus was planning to accomplish was not going to be easy. He abandoned his apostolic duty and dissociated himself from the Twelve. Unfortunately, even the remaining eleven could not comprehend how severe the Lord’s suffering was.

            The darkness was getting deeper at Gethsemane and the Lord’s heart was heavily weighed down with sorrow all the more. The Lord was struggling with His agony. He said to His disciples, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me” (Matt 26:38).

            If we examine the original language used in the Bible, the word agony here in the Scripture means the pain experienced by the one who has left home, the loneliness that hurts the deepest part of one’s heart. Having the body of a man, He was burdened by the task He had to carry out.

            The Lord was distressed by the thought of Judas Iscariot, who had sold his teacher for a few silver coins and was coming with the soldiers to capture Him. Even though the Lord washed his feet and promised to love him to the point of sacrificing Himself, in the end he turned against Him. It was as painful as if a knife was carving through His heart. How can he do this when the Lord had called him who was originally destined for Hell, and all this time had comforted and encouraged him, served him and gave everything to him? Once Satan’s thought entered Judas Iscariot, instantly his heart was completely separated from the Lord and he became an enemy who could never again find a connecting point with the Lord.

            How about Peter? The Lord considered Peter as His friend. The Lord said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13-15). On a previous occasion, He had called the disciples His friends, “And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!” (Luke 12:4-5). Even the Jews sneered and called Him ‘a friend of tax collectors and sinners’ (Matt 11:9). That’s right. The Lord said to them, “I am your friend!” The Lord regarded Peter as His friend. However the Lord had known that in a little while, Peter was going to curse and betray Him. Peter was about to show the people how shameful it was to have known Jesus, and that, blatantly three times! Was Jesus really his friend? Is He the Lord of glory?

            A similar incident to that at Gethsemane had once occurred before. It was at the Mount of Transfiguration. Again it was only Peter, John and James who were on the mountain with the Lord at the time. The Lord revealed His glory to Peter (Matt 17:1-5). Later on, Peter boastfully preached to the people, “we were eyewitnesses of His majesty” (2 Pet 1:17). But that was later in time. Peter abandoned the Lord on the day He was captured.

As a Hen Gathers Her Chicks Under Her Wings

            The Lord, who is the King the Jews had been waiting for, had nurtured His own people with love for a long time. However they rejected the Lord when the He came to His own land to save His people. The Lord’s heart was shattered. He who knows no sin had come to forgive sin, and yet the sinners treated Him as a grave sinner. “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, but you were not willing! See! Your house is left to you desolate; and assuredly, I say to you, you shall not see Me until the time comes when you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’” (Luke 13:34-35). The Lord was grieved with sorrow and disappointment over their unbelief.

            Being a man, the Lord also had the weaknesses of the flesh. He physically endured all the trials, suffering and distress that came upon Him. The challenge He was facing was death. Death is the source of every weakness, as well as the ultimate end to every weakness. Jesus faced the gravest and most difficult test ever witnessed by man. Man’s fate was to be determined that day; it was the most critical point for man. Yet He is our high priest. Hebrew 4:15 says, “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin”. He also sacrificed Himself by becoming the atoning sacrifice. He came in the flesh that man could see, touch, inflict physical oppression, and even force unto death.

            Jesus’ position was made more miserable because it appeared as if He was forsaken by the Father. It can be said that an underlying quality of a Spirit is immortality. However, the Father sent His Son to the world to taste death, and hence the Son has to taste death. It would have been quite understandable if Jesus had objected, “Father, a Spirit does not die!” However, the reason He was made a little lower than the angels for a while was that He might taste death (Heb 2:9). Thus His cry ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani!’ (Matt 27:46) on the cross was actually an exclamation of awe, ‘God, You are truly great. How you love them even to this point!’

He was Sorrowful and Troubled

            The Devil was still tempting Jesus even at Gethsemane. When Jesus had finished fasting forty days, the Devil tried to shake Him in His heart by aiming at His weakness. What the Devil wanted to say was, ‘don’t you have any authority as God’s Son? Don’t you have the power and the right? Why are you losing yourself when you can simply abandon your commission?’ Even at Gethsemane, the Devil was after the same thing. ‘Why lose everything? Why go through it when you can avoid this shame? Is it even worth doing for those worthless human beings?’ To the Lord who spoke of His coming death, Peter said, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You” (Matt 16:22). But the Lord replied, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men” (Matt 16:23). Having done all this, the Devil was making all kinds of conjecture about what Jesus was about to do, and with fear tried to hinder His work while Jesus was praying. The Devil was bringing endless anguish to Jesus so that He would renounce His work.

            Jesus said, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me” (Matt 26:38). His heart was enveloped with sorrow and troubled to death. While people use the phrase ‘to death’ as in, “I’m hungry to death!” as a way of exaggerating their situation, but the Lord was not exaggerating when He said He was sorrowful even to death. The Lord offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears (Heb 5:7). The sweat that fell from His face as He was earnestly praying became like drops of blood falling to the ground (Luke 22:43). Perhaps that was why, when the Lord crucified, He passed away quicker than anticipated. As the soldiers broke the legs of the crucified, they did not need to break Jesus’ legs for He had already died (John 19:33).

            Three times Jesus prayed at Gethsemane. Upon finishing His prayer, He prayed again two more times. This was not Him taking a break in between His prayers. He was so troubled in heart to the point of praying three times about an unresolved matter at hand. The Scripture expressed the Lord’s heart as being “sorrowful and deeply distressed” (Matt 26:37). This does not imply a stationary state but that the state sorrow and distress had just begun and was deepening. The English Bible (NIV) expressed it as “began to be sorrowful and troubled”. To describe the Lord praying in sorrow and distress, the Gospel of Luke said that He knelt down and prayed, however both Books of Matthew of Mark said that He fell on His face, and prayed (Matt 26:39, Mark 14:35). He was truly struggling as He prayed.

Father, Your Will Be Done

            Jesus cried out, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matt 26:39). It was only at Gethsemane that the Lord cried unto God saying, “My Father!” The Jews were shocked and displeased to hear Him cry “My Father!” as if calling one’s own father. Although they acknowledged God as the Father of their nation, they did not believe that could personally call Him as their own Father. When Jesus said, “the Father who sent Me bears witness of Me”, the people ridiculed Him by asking, “Where is Your Father?” (John 8:18-19).

            The Gospel of Mark writes that Jesus said, “Abba, Father” as He prayed to God (Mark 14:36). Jesus was calling God as ‘dad’. It is like a child clinging to his or her father’s leg and crying, while someone tries to forcefully take the child away from his or her father. He, who had come as the Savior of the world did not show an air of authority but was actually clinging to the Father in supplication.

            Jesus cried, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me”. It was the cup of wrath for all the sinners, which Jesus had to take. Jesus supplicated for the cup to be taken away, but in the end He said, “Nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will”, and confessed before the Father that He would take that cup (Mark 14:36).

            In such a tense moment, the Lord could only rely on the Father who had commanded His will and desired His Son to obey it. The disciples were not there for the Lord in that critical moment. During His prayer, the Lord came to where the disciples were and found them asleep. The Lord said to Peter, “Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak”.

            He went away, prayed and spoke the same words, and returned. Again the disciples were sleeping. They were so sorry that they did not know what to say to the Lord. The Lord returned a third time and said, “Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough! The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand” (Mark 14:37-42).

Because He Did Not Give Up…

            We have been brought to life today because Jesus had overcome the agony of Gethsemane and boldly went towards the cross. We came to the earth as sinners, but we will leave as the righteous ones. Jesus has carried all the sins we had brought into the world. On that day, the Lord had suffered affliction and sorrow for us, and thus we do not despair despite whatever hardships we face in this world. Though we may suffer, the hope, which guards our hearts is very secure. We have not lost anything in this world. Every man comes from his mother’s womb empty-handed, and empty-handed he returns (Job 1:21).

            We have been made rich. We came to the earth and have gained the Truth, freedom and the kingdom of Heaven. Now we are the blessed ones who are planning and building the glory and reward of the eternal Heaven. It is such a relief that no one was able to snatch away the heart of the Lord as He struggled at Gethsemane 2000 years ago. We also truly thank the Lord who He did not give up the task He had to carry. The Lord removed the dreadful poison from us and took it upon Himself and thus suffered. The Lord covered us with His blood and offered us up to God. Through the blood of His Son, God remembers our sin no more and gladly receives us. Jesus made us belong to Heaven and has surely written our names in His book. He is our reliable, trustworthy and faithful Lord and God.

Choosing for the Spirit

            The living Lord helps and guides us even today. We are the church of Christ, meaning we carry the name of the commission, which the Lord had received. We have been deployed and are battling in the war that the Lord has already won. The Lord commanded us to join our forces as one and fight. God is with us by the Holy Spirit, and has become the Father who commands us blessings. The labor of the flesh cannot bear everlasting fruit. Therefore we must beware of the thoughts of man, fiercely struggle against the thoughts of the flesh so that our spirit would not be hindered in receiving blessings. The Lord spoke of the necessity to choose for our spirit saying, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matt 16:24-26) and also said, “For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works” (Matt 16:27). The Lord commanded us to prepare for our eternal life, and anticipates us to do so.

            We need to diligently prepare for our eternal life. We should not live with vain blessings but with the sure, spiritual blessings of God. As those who belong to Jesus Christ and are being led towards the kingdom of Heaven, we ought to be freed from the mindset of the flesh, secular practices, principles of the world, carnal desires and especially the oppression caused by money. We need to build a life worthy as those who belong to the spirit. We must love God and His kingdom, and be rich towards God’s kingdom.

            The Lord said, “ The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:8). Our lives should be different to the people of the world. The meaning, approach and purpose of our life are different to theirs. We are the glorious co-workers of God, God’s house, and God’s field. Hence we need to be a wise builder, building ourselves upon the foundation of Jesus Christ through our dedication and service according to the grace we have each received. Just as the Lord has won valiantly, we will also be victorious. The Lord’s endless prayer ensures there is no failure for those who are in Him. On that last day when the Lord calls us, we will see the face of the Lord pleased to see us.

I became a witness of Jesus at the age of 24 and began to lead revivals as a guest speaker in different churches.

Since then, half a century has flew by and this year also is passing by quickly. I have seen much glory and received great love until now, but obstruction and persecution against me came like strong, ferocious waves. I was able to endure it when I was young, but it makes me emotional as I think of how I relied and worked through the Holy Spirit though I was being strongly persecuted and alienated.

If I were not awake in my mind and if the Lord did not hold me through the Holy Spirit, then I would not have been of this world. It would have been also impossible for me to accomplish such great works. How are the good-hearted Christians of Korean churches that resemble the modern Jews so fierce and strong?

People prostrate before the Lord at church every day, repenting and confessing their love. However, I have seen them turn around immediately and begin to persecute me and make an evil attempt to take away the life of my flesh in their hearts daily. When Jews gathered, they discussed about ‘How do we kill Jesus?’ Even elders and priests congregated and thought, ‘What can we do to kill Jesus?’ They finally killed the Lord when the time came. Isn’t this the truth recorded in the Bible?

I feel terrible difficulties and my shoulder feels heavy right now. It feels as though I am standing before hopelessness and falling into despair, but I am still intact. I am still breathing. The Lord wore the thorny crown and bled in order to wear the crown of glory. Unlike Him, no painful thorns are yet piercing through my forehead to cause any bleeding though I agonize deeply. My forehead is still unscathed. I hoped to receive the crown of glory and the crown of righteousness, but I have not even worn the crown of thorns yet. I have not even shed a drop of blood on my forehead yet. I question myself if my faith is truly justified by hoping for the crown of glory when I am actually wearing a soft, featherlike crown.

I claim to walk toward the goal of resurrection, but there is no bloodstain on the soles of my feet. No blood was shed from my hands or my side. I claimed to walk toward the Calvary hill and proceed toward the goal of resurrection without shedding a drop of blood. Isn’t this abominable? No piece of my flesh has fallen off yet, and I busily clung to treating my body when it became weak. Am I truly the person who is walking toward the goal of the resurrection?

I still have a long way to go. I have the responsibility of only walking forward until the blood drops shed from my forehead, tear my hands and feet apart, and a trace of blood is left on the road. Yet, I am still safe and sound. Basically, I was being a crybaby until now. O my soul, I will go and die for the Lord. I will climb up the Calvary hill, heading toward the goal of the resurrection until my body bleeds and collapses.

Pastor Ki-Dong Kim
Lord’s Day Worship Column

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Outline translated by Sam Park
Summary translated by Sarah Nam
Letter translated by Jada Shim
Revisions and Interpretations by Sam Park

Chief Editor: Helen Nam
Korean Summary by Ki-Taek Lee