For the whole time that I have been an evangelist and pastor, God has been with me. If God had not been with me, I would not have been able to maintain His power until today and would have fallen into temptation.

The reason that I have been able to preserve this power for such a long time is because of the mission that has been mandated to me from God. If I had tasted the Holy Spirit and His gifts, if I had experienced the power of God and the powers that are to come, and it would only remain a thing of the past, then I would have ended up in corruption. If I had become corrupt in this way, there would have been no way for me to come back to repentance. My soul would have been dried up of all inspiration.

Since, I knew so acutely what kind of person I was, from the time that I became a workman of God and had received His calling, I desired to offer my love until death to Him – to the One who had given a farm boy like me this great opportunity. What kind of qualifications does a person like me possess? What kind of opportunities are open for me? I know these answers only too well. I have no abilities in myself. Therefore, I did not reject this unique opportunity that was given me. I knew it was unthinkable for me to reject this mission given by God. I chose to receive immense persecution, alienation and humiliation. I endured these sufferings again and again.

When I hear the accounts of those who had begun in our church and had yet left because they could not bear and endure the accusations of heresy, raw emotions rise up in my body with shame and sorrow – so much so that I do not know how to behave. However, I remember the Lord Jesus and consider how He had endured when He had suffered on this earth. He spoke the words, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.” And after that He had also stated, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” He spoke these words as He prayed in great strength, labor and earnestness. Whenever I encountered these trials, I think of what He had done.

If the signs and power of God were to depart from me, then there would no longer be any persecution, and inspiration would flee from me. What, then, would be the end result of me? My life would be like that of a dog that has eaten back its own vomit or like that of a pig that has wallowed back into the mud. I would be the salt that has lost its flavor and on which the people walk on over the pavement. I would be a laughing stock of the people, a target of ridicule. I feared these things – that I would be rejected by the earth, and also eternally rejected by heaven. I regarded the enduring of mass persecution (by which some church members were not able to endure and had fled) and the suffering of alienation from the rest of the Christian world as true blessing, and it was because of this that I am still alive today.

The Lord Jesus was nailed to the cross until death with atrocious criminals. There was no one who had come to His defense. But He received testimony from the Holy Spirit and God the Father in Person, and having received these testimonies, had attained to the victory of the Resurrection. In the same way, the One who testifies to me is our One and Only God. So regardless of who tries to kill me, the Holy Spirit will testify to me with the power of the Resurrection. Therefore, I seek to endure these persecutions and receive blessing a hundred-fold. Amen.

Semuon