Not As I will (Matthew 26:36-46)

Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Then He came to the disciples and found them asleep, and said to Peter, “What? Could you not watch with Me one hour? “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy. So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Then He came to His disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. “Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.” (Matthew 26:36-46, NKJV)

When people come to God, there is a confession that they make: “I am a sinner.” Some of you may have already made this confession, while others have not yet. I am not saying this to condemn you, nor am I saying that you have committed more sins than others. I am not here to dig into your background. The point is that all human beings are the same—we are sinners who cannot save ourselves and are unworthy of God’s eternal happiness. Sometimes we might think, “I have no sin! I am righteous!” but in reality, we will eventually discover that we are not truly righteous.

There was an incident. A woman was caught in the act of adultery. By any standard, this was a sin worthy of death. Although we do not execute people for such things in our country today, it was a death penalty offense in Jesus’ time. Even now, in some Islamic countries, they still carry out the death penalty for this, specifically by stoning. People brought this woman, caught in adultery, before Jesus and asked Him, “Jesus! What should we do with this woman?” At that time, there was the Law that people followed very strictly, which was given by God through Moses. In the Law of Moses, it was written that a woman caught in adultery must be stoned to death. So, the people asked Him, “Now, what do You have to say?”

Jesus could have said something like this, couldn’t He? “Since she committed such a great sin, she deserves to die. Stone her!” Because that was the content of the Law given by God. She should have been stoned. But Jesus did not say that. At the same time, He never said, “Do not stone her.” He actually told them to do it. He said, “Stone her to death.” However, there was a condition. He said, “Let him who is without sin throw the first stone.” The people were holding stones, but after hearing Jesus’ words, they must have thought deeply to themselves, “Do I have sin or not?” Then, one by one, they began to put down their stones and slipped away to their homes.

Now, try to guess—did the older people leave first, or the younger ones? Those who felt they were sinners likely left first, right? The Bible records that they left starting with the older ones. While young people might say, “I am righteous! I’ve done nothing wrong!” those who have lived a long life know that the world doesn’t work that way. You know this all too well. “How can anyone live without sinning? No matter how hard you try, how can you not sin?”

Moreover, even if we do not commit sins outwardly, don’t we commit many sins in our hearts? Jesus once spoke about this. Someone might say, “Oh, I have never committed adultery!” But He said, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart.” It is the same thing. He also said that having covetousness is the same as stealing. Even if you haven’t physically stolen someone else’s property, if you are greedy and think, “I want what that person has,” that is considered stealing.

In that sense, wouldn’t there be many sins within us that make our consciences feel guilty? So, when Jesus said, “Let him who is without sin throw the first stone,” they began to leave, putting down their stones one by one, starting from the oldest. Eventually, the younger people were gone too. In the end, only Jesus and the woman were left. Then Jesus said to her, “Has no one condemned you?” “No one, Lord.” “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” And with that, He sent the woman on her way.

That is exactly it. We are all the same sinners before God. Some people sin more, and some sin less. Some are born into good environments where they aren’t pressured to sin, while others are born into difficult circumstances that lead them to sin more. Even a person who seems perfectly fine can fall into temptation, fail to overcome it, and commit sin. Such things can happen to anyone—to you or to me. That is why, as someone who has repented, when I hear that someone has committed a sin, I don’t say, “What a terrible person!” Instead, I think, “I could have been just like that. I must be careful.” I believe that the same potential for sin is within me. It’s just that I haven’t been in that situation, so fortunately, I didn’t do it. That is why I always think, “If I were in that situation, I would need to be very careful.” I don’t react by saying, “What a terrible! How can a human being be like that?” This is what happens when we admit that everyone is a sinner before God. We are all sinners.

Then how does God view sinners? Can He just say, “Sinner? I love you,” and accept the sin along with you? I remember when I was learning to ride a bike, I must have been about ten years old. Our house was on a bit of a downhill slope, and I was riding a bike that was a little too big for me. My feet couldn’t quite reach the ground, so I had to ride tilted to one side with only one foot on a pedal. Because of that, I lost my balance on the downhill. There was a ditch nearby with pitch-black water flowing through it. That water came from nearby factories and houses, so it was truly black and even sticky. But strangely, the bike kept heading toward it, and I ended up crashing right into it. You can imagine—my whole body turned pitch black. I can’t even describe how bad the smell was. That’s how I walked back home. When I arrived, if I had tried to hug my mom saying, “Mom! I love you!” what would she have done? Would she have just embraced me? As soon as I opened the gate and stepped into the yard, she immediately blocked me and shouted, “Don’t come in!” Even though I was her son, she told me not to enter. We had a yard, and as I tried to walk through it to get inside the house, she stopped me first to wash me off right there in the yard. Only after being washed did I go inside. Even then, the smell lingered. So you see, no matter how much my mother loved me, I could not go into the room in such a filthy state.

God wants to be with us. He wants to be happy together with us. However, He cannot be with us because we are too filthy. That is what sin is. This filth inevitably leads to separation from God, and where would that place of separation be? The place where one is eternally separated from God is hell. Such a place exists. Once separated from God, you can no longer meet Him or enjoy the wonderful happiness He provides; ultimately, you end up in hell. God is holy and happy, but we are sinners. How agonizing would it be for us to go to hell? God knows all of this. Therefore, He does not want to leave us to go to hell like that. Then what does He want? He wants us, the sinners, to somehow be able to come to Him.

Just as my mother didn’t say, “Get out! You’re not my son!” simply because I was dirty, but instead washed me so I could come inside, we must first be cleansed. That is why God cleansed us of our sins. But at that time, did I wash myself? Or did my mother wash me? My mother washed me. I didn’t have the ability to clean myself. Likewise, although it was my mother who blocked me from entering the house, it was also my mother who washed me. In the same way, even though we are in a position where we cannot meet God, He is the one who cleanses us sinners. God took responsibility. There was a punishment we were destined to receive because of our sins; there was a curse. However, God has already taken that punishment and that curse upon Himself. God was cursed.

Of course, God Himself cannot be cursed. That is why Jesus, who came as God in the flesh, appeared 2,000 years ago. He was cursed. Jesus did not come to this earth to live, but to die. He came to be cursed. Who among all those born into this world comes with the purpose of dying? Everyone comes to live. After God created all things, including the animals and the birds, He said, “Be fruitful and multiply.” It was the same for mankind: “Be fruitful and multiply.” Yet, there was only one person who came specifically to die. Jesus knew this. He said, “I have come to die. I have come to give myself as a ransom for you!” He came to die on the cross.

We now serve such a person as our Lord. Isn’t it strange? Usually, people would want to serve someone cool and successful as their master, yet we Christians serve and rely on a person who was cursed on this earth. Why? Because it didn’t end there. He was cursed and died, but He didn’t do this of His own accord. There was someone who commanded Him to do so. There was someone who commanded Him to be cursed and die. That is the one we call God. God commanded Him to die. He commanded Him to die in our place. He called each of your names and told Him to die for your sins. That is why He died.

Jesus did not want to die. Yet, He was put to death in that way. He did not die a peaceful death; He was murdered. He was executed, and it was a wrongful, unjust execution. Even among the various forms of execution, He did not die a gentle death, but was crucified on a cross. When someone is crucified, they don’t necessarily have to be scourged as well. Yet, He endured even the scourging. All of this was done to pay for our curses and our punishments in our place. Therefore, when God looks at you now, there is no need for you to be cursed. Because some people do not acknowledge this, they still carry their curses with them. But you must acknowledge this. If you do, you no longer have to bear the curse for your sins yourselves. He has already paid it all.

Today, I had a meal at a restaurant. When I went to pay, the owner said to me, “Someone already paid for you.” How would you react in that situation? If you didn’t believe it, you would say, “Oh, that can’t be. Who would pay for me? There’s no such fool in this world!” and you would try to pay anyway. Then the owner might say, “No, really. Someone paid, saying they wanted to serve the pastor.” If I still didn’t believe it and said, “No way, that’s impossible. Please take my money!” it means I don’t believe it, so I end up paying the price myself. But if I believe it, I can just say, “Oh, I see. Thank you,” and walk out. It is that simple.

Since it is said that Jesus has paid the full price for your sins, all you have to do is believe. You can just walk out. You don’t have to pay the price for your sins yourself. In other words, you don’t have to go to hell. You don’t have to be cursed. Then, after cleansing all our curses like this, what was His purpose? It was to say, “Come in now! I will embrace you! Let’s eat!” and to make us His children who can enjoy His glory together with Him. We are grateful enough that He forgave our sins, but He went even further and made us His children.

Jesus came into this world knowing exactly this. He carried out His work for three years before He departed. He began His ministry around the age of thirty, worked for about three years, and in His final moments, He died on the cross. So, what did He do during those three years? He preached the gospel of the kingdom, healed the sick, cast out demons, raised the dead, and taught with all kinds of wisdom. Then, referring to everything He did—including the healings and the teachings—He said, “This is not my own doing; it is the work of God who sent me.”

It is completely different from our time. In this day and age, no matter what people say, everyone is trying to make their own voice heard. With the rise of YouTube, anyone can become a YouTuber and share their political opinions. They show off their talents, post cooking videos, and some even stream themselves sleeping—they post just about everything. We have entered an era where everyone can express their own individual opinions on any matter. As a result, there is a vast diversity of views. Everyone is talking about themselves; it’s an age that encourages self-expression. However, because there are so many people speaking, it’s hard to know what is actually true. There is so much falsehood and so many unverified claims. We no longer know what to believe. So, from your perspective, how are you supposed to know whether the gospel in this Bible is true or not?

But think about it. Who ultimately benefits from all the words people speak? The benefit comes to me. I make people listen to what I say, and through that, I gain something. If I run a YouTube channel, as my subscriber count grows, money comes in. Everything I say is for my own benefit; it’s about making money flow toward me. That’s why, even if it’s a bit of a lie, people tell sensational stories to keep others watching. In fact, the truth is often boring, so it is easily ignored. Suppose someone uploads a sermon to YouTube today. How interesting would that be? People don’t really watch it. But if you upload gaming content, you might get millions of subscribers. Lies are entertaining. If you exaggerate and post falsehoods, people love it. But when you speak the truth, you have to be careful, and then it’s not “fun” anymore. In the end, people speak and act in ways that bring profit to themselves.

But listen to the words of Jesus. What do His words and His actions ultimately lead to? They end with His own death. He claimed that God was His Father and that He was the Son of God. If He kept insisting on this to the people, what would happen to Him? He would die. Why? Unlike today, back then, if a person referred to himself as God, it was an offense punishable by immediate stoning. Yet, this is exactly what He was telling them.

While healing the sick, He would say, “This is not my own doing; it is God who is working within me.” When He said this, people didn’t respond with joy. Instead, they would snap back, “Hey! You did it yourself. How can you say God is working within you? Are you claiming to be God?” Even so, Jesus continued to say, “This is the work God commanded me to do. It is God who is performing these works within me.” Now, if that were a lie, the sick shouldn’t have been healed, right? But they actually recovered. The blind opened their eyes. These are things that truly could not happen unless it was by God. Jesus spoke because He knew this was the truth, but every time He spoke before those who did not know it, He fell into greater danger.

Next, He spoke about the purpose of His coming, saying, “I have come to set you free.” After saying that, the final thing He did was die on the cross. He truly fulfilled those words. If He had run away at the last moment instead of doing that, then it would be fine to believe that everything He said in the past was a lie. However, in the eyes of the world, He seems like a fool. He actually had many followers, so He could have easily fought back by shouting “Attack!” to those trying to arrest Him. But He didn’t do that; He just let Himself be taken away. And then, He died helplessly. That is what Jesus did. He deliberately chose the path of death to save us.

Think about this carefully—is it true or not? Who would give up their very life for a lie? He didn’t do it for Himself. In fact, He didn’t want to do it. That is why He prayed before God the Father, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.” Drinking a very bitter cup would be agonizing, wouldn’t it? It means He didn’t want to drink it. In other words, He truly did not want to die on the cross. So He prayed to God, “If You can take this away from me, please take it away. I would rather not do this.” Yet, He always added these words: “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” He prayed exactly like that. Even so, it was so difficult for Him. So He prayed again, and then a third time. While the disciples were exhausted and falling asleep, He prayed alone three times. He had asked them to pray with Him, but they kept dozing off. “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour?” After praying like that, when He came to the disciples the third time, He said, “It is enough! Let us go!” As He went on His way, those who came to arrest Him arrived, and He was led to His death on the cross.

In this way, He did not speak words that were to His own advantage; rather, He spoke words that would lead to His death. Which one would be the truth? Between a person saying something that brings them money and a person saying something that will cost them their life—which of the two would truly be the truth?

Jesus spoke the words at the absolute cost of His own life. And because of those words, I gained life. I began to live a completely new life. I, who once wandered without knowing where life came from or where it was going, and who used to curse myself, came to know God. Not only did I come to know God, but more importantly, I came to know my own soul first. In fact, if I didn’t know my own soul, how could I ever know God? But at the same moment I came to know God, I also discovered who I truly am. I came to know my soul. My soul is something only I know; no one else can explain it for me. How could anyone else explain my soul? This is my personal experience. What I am saying is that I have met God.

When you hear these things, they might feel vague. To ensure you don’t feel that way, God works through the gift of healing. Healing—a person feels this most desperately when it concerns their own illness. When you aren’t sick, it’s hard to truly empathize no matter how much someone else says they are in pain. But when sickness strikes you, you find yourself desperately seeking help with your entire being. You need help. Imagine being in a situation where the world can no longer offer you any assistance. What would you do then? In those moments, many Christians experience God’s intervention and His help. Not only that, we can also offer healing to others. Through these works, the Lord allows us to see that the forgiveness of sins He has given us is a reality.

Listen to the words of Jesus. He is not like the countless people in this world who only speak their own words. He never spoke His own words; He spoke only what the Father commanded Him to say. And to speak those words, He had to die. He didn’t gain money by speaking them. That is why we have come to know the truth of His words, and countless people who believe them are now witnesses to His truth. I pray in the name of Jesus that you too will listen to His words, meet God, and possess the happiness that comes from Him.

God our Father, through our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave His very life to speak Your word, we have come to know You. We have also come to possess Your happiness. Please help every soul here today to also possess this divine happiness. May they no longer be those who must bear the weight of their own curses and punishments for their sins; instead, grant them the faith to believe in what Jesus has already done for them. We give You thanks and pray all these things in the name of Jesus, Amen.

Pastor Ki-Taek Lee
The Director of Sungrak Mission Center